Oh, wow. Look at that. You made it. I’m glad you’re here. It’s been a hell of a year, which makes moments of peace even sweeter. Sit down and I’ll try not to go on for too long.
There’s a whole breed of self-help books that focus on the power of positive thinking. Everything boils down to your attitude and actions. Words choices are key to how the universe reacts to your thoughts.
On New Years Day’s 2016, I found myself in a bookstore (me in a bookstore, big surprise), running into a long-lost friend. They asked what I was up to since graduation.
“I wrote another book. I’m going to self-publish it.”
I wasn’t positive that was what I was going to do. I wanted to, but I didn’t possess the nerve to actually do it. But the store was crowded, and when I have to speak up to be heard, I speak in short sentences and keep the message brief.
I can’t remember what the friend said in response, but it didn’t matter. I heard myself say it, and in that instant I could see this alternative version of myself that actually did it. I envied her. The only thing stopping me from that future was myself.
As you know, I did it. It wasn’t easy. It’s still not easy. Once you publish a book, you’re never done with it. It’s still there, haunting you like a friendly ghost while you’re just trying to do laundry or eat lunch.
Or, in another case, it resurfaces like a zombie from the earth. The handwritten three-book series I wrote when I was 17-18 somehow survived moving multiple times. An entire box filled with notebooks covered in my awful handwriting managed to lurk unnoticed for years in the back of a closet. I could barely bring myself to look at the covers.
This was a friendly, albeit more embarrassing, haunting.
I thought of introducing it to my new paper shredder but stopped short, packed it back into a new box, and placed it under the dozen binders that my more recent stories reside in.
I love my ghosts. I love them some much I’m planning on adding more. They can follow me around as though I were a medium, going about my days.
2018 will see one, maybe two new books from me.
For certain, The Moonlight Herders, the first in a paranormal romance series from Ellysian Press. I’m so excited for this book to finally get out into the world.
Potentially, the second Opposition novel will be released late in the year. Langdon’s story has proven to be the most difficult story I’ve ever tackled, and I refuse to rush it. But I won’t leave you with nothing. I may not be able to give a concrete release date but I can reveal the title.
Listen, my characters are all my children. I love them, but I won’t hesitate to say Langdon’s a special one. And while I can’t wait to get his story out there, I’m making sure he’s going out there with both shoes on. (And a jacket, scarf, gloves, hat… Montreal is really cold in the winter.)
Yesh. I’m going to need a lot of coffee this year.
I think I used up all of my positive allotment while trying to survive this year, and I’m sure I’m not the only one. I was going to list all the good parts of 2017, but it feels fake to do so because that would mean ignoring all the bad parts.
Just a few days ago I felt like Jo, “walking in circles but meeting only dead-ends,” as I looked at a handwritten story from over ten years ago. 2017 saw more effort to move my life in the right direction than ever before, but I still felt like I was ending it the same way I began it. But then I remembered how it felt like a lie to say I was going to self-publish a book, and the flood of everything I’ve done since Past Stefani, the one who wouldn’t even let other people read her work, put all those notebooks into a box hit me.
You truly don’t notice change creeping up on you. So now, even as I get hit with bouts of dread and anxiety over my work, I can recall how I never thought I’d even get this far and can look forward to everything I know I’m doing in 2018. Thanks for following along.